Want permission to quit? Hear these words from Jesus…

[Jesus said], “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.” (Matthew 10:14)

Everyone hits the messy middle of their goals—the dip between the start and end when resistance increases, momentum slows, and results disappoint. 

Our grit-obsessed culture says there’s only one legitimate response to the messy middle: push through. (See countless posts from LinkedIn bros quoting Churchill saying, “Never give in.”) But here’s what’s ironic. What Churchill actually said was, “Never give in…except to convictions of honor and good sense.” 

Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right goals for the right reasons at the right moment—including our permanently victorious Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Jesus quit healing the people of Capernaum when they asked for more (see Mark 1:35-38). And he encouraged his followers to quit when the situation called for it (see today’s passage above). 

But other times Jesus modeled perseverance, most notably when he chose to go to the cross for you and me even though he was sweating blood at the prospect (see Luke 22:39-44). 

That tension brings us to the sixth principle in this series. 

Principle #6: Maneuver the Messy Middle — To redeem our goals in the model of our Redeemer, we will prayerfully discern when and how to quit, pivot, or persevere through the messy middle of our quests. 

Many of us find quitting to be the hardest of these moves to make. Why? Because Satan has convinced us that if we quit, we will have “wasted” time and money. 

But God doesn’t waste a thing. If you quit your goal, chances are very good that God will use the skills, knowledge, and relationships you acquired chasing it in service of the next one. But even if he doesn’t, there’s no such thing as waste in the kingdom of God. As Paul says, “Your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58). 

So how can we combat Satan’s lie and the sunk-cost bias that keeps us from quitting when the time is right? 

Practice #6: Share Kill Criteria with a Trusted Friend 

Kill Criteria are conditions for quitting that you set ahead of time. They follow this formula: If by [date], I haven’t [reached a particular state], I’ll quit. 

A few years ago, I hired an agency to run ads for one of my books. When the ads stopped working and started losing money every week, I shared this Kill Criteria with my team: If by April 30 the ads aren’t profitable again, I’ll fire the agency and quit the ad strategy. 

When April 30 came and the ads still weren’t profitable, I wanted nothing more than to persevere. Like a gambling addict, I kept telling myself, “Just one more month!” But I’d already committed to my team that we’d quit. And quitting freed me up to pursue different strategies that God used to produce more fruit in service of others. 

If you want to avoid getting stuck in the messy middle, set your own Kill Criteria and share it with a trusted friend today.